090416

Dearest.

At opportune points in our lives, our paths can be redetermined by unique means, precisely measured and forcibly accountable. We have survived, Dearest, but far from the life intended to be made for the other, and clearly nothing of happiness, or tomorrow's promises. I believe the opportunity I am facing now is of just this sort, I refuse to entertain the idea you have supported this, called for this, or are receiving this letter without frustration. Socialized life can be dangerously orientated, and perhaps at this moment and those to immediately follow, you and I shall see just how dangerous it can be. Survival is nothing to be proud of at this point.

Space is limited, though thankfully I have been afforded the means to write you. For the most part, there is little noise, no conversation, and perhaps more reflection than I give those around me credit for. I am not having any difficulty distancing myself from anyone, it is in my sincere opinion that they could care less about me, as I them. No windows, no clock, just lights on, then off, then on again, with intermittent servings of food. A male who appears to be of the same age as myself eventually makes his introductions, he appears to be in want of someone to talk to, to pass the time, to stay focused. He has twelve days remaining, having already endured four, and he is comfortable confessing his sins to me. His honestly is astounding, but also reassures my belief concerning my own situation, definitively that I do not belong here, that I am not deserving of such confinement.

I have been called, and those surrounding me are urging me to pack my things, and prepare to leave. I feel confident, like a champion, these people who I felt such a distance from are suddenly encouraging me, and they are genuinely happy for me. Still unfamiliar with the process I am involved in, I disregard the questions which had been turning in my mind throughout the night, I quickly gather my things and take direction from the guard at the door. I feel as if I have left behind friends, though I will never know their names, or recognize them beyond the door through which I have just passed. Still, more than these social soldiers, I will remember them for their spirit, and their tolerance, for all the good they intended and nothing else.

When you read this, I will not yet be home, but I will be closer to you than I have ever been. Love me, Dearest, do not abandon what we have built together, for the injustices of a stranger. Their words amount to nothing when brought against our love, our commitment, and our fate together will not suffer for their lies. I will be home soon...wait for me.

-Tony